This week has so far been really tiring. After school everyday, I have been staying at my grandfather's wake to entertain the people that came to pay their respects to my granddad.[sigh] It really has not been easy on everybody who was there helping out. I fell sick on Monday morning and then Tuesday I did not go to school cause my nose was "running" away from me and my head was seriously spinning due to lack of sleep and much intense gym training that I was recovering from the past week. Holding your tears in while everything happens is really not easy cause you can feel your heart breaking into many bits and pieces not because of the death of your loved one but the fact that your granddad does not believe in Christ. (sigh) I do not really believe in being sad during a person's death but this time round I was sad really sad...

I can admit that I am a emotional person, but I am not the sort who does it anytime, anywhere. On the last day of everything, which was on the funeral day, I cried only when my grandmother did. The funny thing was that, at that point, I really did not know whether to feel pointless in tearing or not. I was just emotionless and upset. Everybody had a last chance to see the pale, skinny face of my late granddad including my grandmother who had a really hard time keeping so strong on the outside. [ saying this only by looking] At that moment, it really strucked my hard on my head. Being the six youngest grandchild out of thirteen grandchildren and watching all my cousins cry so much... it really hurt me so bad. I was trying to hide my tears, but when I saw all this sadness, it overwhelmed me, I just had to cry or rather tear. Until now, I am quite tramatised by the whole process that i've been through together with my family. Whenever I am with my friends in school, I am quite happy... but whenever I go home and have nothing important to do, my mind starts to run again about everything that happened.

Hmm... so that leaves me with a conclusion, that when you have really good people around here on earth, you should really treasure them always whether they are your enemies or not. Cause nobody knows when you would not be able to see them again. Always think of others before yourself... and remember to love them no matter, where, when, till the end.

Signing off
Andrea